It’s International Women’s Day, a day to celebrate women. In North America, the day seems focused on celebrating women’s political achievements and reminding us that “we’ve come a long way, baby,” or yet have far to go.
In Europe and other parts of the world women receive bouquets of flowers from male loved ones not because they have done good work, or made more money than last year, or shot through some corporate glass ceiling, but simply because they are women.
I love seeing the gaggle of men at the local florist in my multi-cultural neighbourhood after work on March 8. The mob far outnumbers anything you witness at a flower shop on Valentine’s Day. They are all men and they are all ages – some buying for their wives, some for their mothers, and all for the women they love. They are not buying flowers to celebrate these women’s material achievements, they are saying ‘I Love You’ for who you are.
If given the choice between receiving a bouquet of flowers as an expression of love, and a high five from “society” for my material achievements, I choose the former. I don’t buy into the myth that my value as a woman is dependent on my achievements. I am valuable because I am. And so are you.
Dennis O'Connor student, Paul Gomille, source: Toronto Star
I’m not a news follower for reasons I won’t get into here, but the front page of the Toronto Star caught my attention today with its headline “Suspended from school over ode to inner beauty.” The story covered a Catholic high school boy who had distributed a letter on Valentine’s day about the true essence of female beauty. The boy, a student at Archbishop Dennis O’Connor high school in Ajax, served a two-day suspension which resulted from his refusal to remove passages his principal (who had seen the letter ahead of time) deemed ‘judgmental’. The letter followed closely on the heels of controversy over female students hiking up their kilts to reveal more leg.
When issuing the suspension, Principal Donna Modeste cited the 17-year-old’s “opposition to authority” and I must confess I have to agree with her decision. Rather than obey the principal’s order to amend the letter, he ignored her instructions and handed it out to the student body unedited. There has to be a consequence for his rebellious action. He’s a minor under the care and protection of the principal, not to mention scientific evidence that teenagers do not possess fully developed reasoning capacities: it is possible the adult in this situation knew better.
I’m not arguing against rebellion in all cases, but it must carry consequences!
The Toronto Star was fairly clear on its stand in the student’s favour and it’s disdain for punishment based on “opposition to authority”. Me, I think one of the problems in our world today is a lack of respect for authority. I feel the letter would have served its purpose as well or better without the passages the principal asked to be removed. It’s wonderful this young man sets a shining example of what it means to value girls and women for who they are instead of what they look like. He should have done so within the parameters of what his principal allowed and had the humility to accept advice from his authority.
Here’s the letter with the passages the principal asked to be removed in bold:
Could I please have your attention for a few moments? I guarantee you won’t regret listening to what I have to say. You definitely won’t regret hearing this in your life time, especially from a man of dignity. It’s an idea that I have held close to my heart even before the kilt controversy arose in the media. This message is not meant to address the kilt controversy directly by any means, but rather, this message is a general and all-encompassing statement. It is a message about the qualities that really matter in a woman, and what really makes a woman attractive. Although this speech has some relevance to the way women dress and present themselves nowadays, the message in this speech goes far beyond one’s preferences, or feelings of pressure, as it relates to the way they dress, and it goes far beyond any concept of modernity. It strikes at the very core of humanity itself, in an attempt to make a revelation of truth apparent to all of you, with awe inspiring certainty. If you read this, and receive anything less than a feeling of absolution from it, then I have committed a grave sin, a sin against myself and a sin against all of you.
The people this message concerns are the young women of this school, and of the world. In particular, it concerns the silent ones, the intelligent ones, the ones that don’t talk about people behind their backs, the ones that guys don’t flock to in droves, the ones that don’t dress in revealing clothing, the ones who would love to be in love, and the ones that are continually disappointed in their appearance because the only thing they have to compare themselves to are the women that have been put on pedestals by our society. This message also concerns those of you who may consider yourselves the so called “opposite” to the demographic I just described. The ones who do dress in revealing clothing, and the ones who try to fit in with the crowd.
You don’t need to dress or act a certain way to fit in, to feel attractive, or to BE attractive. You’re all far more attractive than you realize. All of you. But that’s not to say that you should all dress in revealing clothing. No, not at all. Sure, a girl who dresses that way might turn a few heads, and get some compliments. But real attractiveness doesn’t come from wearing the latest fashion, and it doesn’t come from being scantily clad in public, or putting on make-up, or having a pretty face, or a nice body. No. Real attractiveness comes from having a certain dignity. It comes from having class. It comes from being true to yourself, being yourself, and being comfortable in your own skin. This message is for all young women within the sound of my voice and beyond. You’re all beautiful. You all have inner beauty AND outer beauty.
What do you think?
“Glamour is not cruelty. Glamour is not closemindedness. Glamour is not bigotry or hatred. Glamour is not self-conscious; it’s not trying really hard. It’s just expressing your own truth. I think that’s what the essence of glamour really is, expressing your uniqueness.” — Kevyn Aucoin
I pulled the above quote from Dressful’s Facebook page and was reminded of how much I adored Kevyn Aucoin and what a shocking loss we suffered when he died in 2002. Kevyn grew up in Lafayette, Louisiana, where he suffered ceaseless bullying at school over his being gay, a fact he discovered about himself when he was six. Aucoin was forced to drop out of high school as a result of the abuse and enrolled in beauty school. He took a job at an exclusive women’s shop giving make-up lessons, but the female customers were uncomfortable with a man applying their make-up.
He moved to Baton Rouge where the abuse continued when he and his friends were beaten by security officers. His move to New York to start his career was motivated as much by fear for his life as a desire to be at the epicenter of fashion and beauty. It was while building his portfolio doing free make-up applications for models that he was disovered by Vogue and began working with famed fashion photographer Steven Meisel. During 1987-89 he did nine Vogue covers in a row and commanded up to $6000 for a make-up session.
The most enduring quality about Kevyn Aucoin and what makes me love him so much is that he revered the beauty within every woman and saw his job as one of making women feel beautiful. He considered make-up a tool to help a woman discover herself. He refused to do the make-up of models he felt were too young. Working for Revlon, Aucoin launched a make-up line called The Nakeds which was the first to address all skin tones, a move considered groundbreaking at the time.
According to Kevyn Aucoin:
Beauty is about perception, not about make-up. I think the beginning of all beauty is knowing and liking oneself. You can’t put on make-up, or dress yourself, or do your hair with any sort of fun or joy if you’re doing it from a position of correction.
Perfection is boring. If a face doesn’t have mistakes, it’s nothing.
Today I see beauty everywhere I go, in every face I see, in every single soul.
Yes, but everyone is beautiful to someone.
When I heard about Fit-to-Flick I was intrigued – not because I’d never heard of a hat you can push your ponytail through…(I have one of those). What’s interesting about Fit-to-Flick is that if you choose to wear it when you aren’t sporting a ponytail you don’t see a huge gaping hole at the back of your head. My ponytail hat was terrfic when I wore a ponytail but when my hair was down it was useless. Also the hole insisted that I wear my ponytail at only one height, not low or high but somewhere in the middle. Very limiting.
Today I received my Fit-to-Flick hat via post and the intelligent design allows for a ponytail by way of a slit which virtually disappears when not in use. Also, the size of the slit allows you to wear your ponytail at pretty much any height you desire. Freedom! Besides its practicality, the hat is fashioned from all natural fibres which are soft, breathable, warm and silky-feeling.
I love the girl power behind this brand and the way its genesis arose from a personal need. Says founder Hannah Bomze:
Go to The Beheld for an interesting piece on Janis Joplin and beauty.
Dolly wrote “I Will Always Love You” in 1973 and Whitney Houston covered it in a huge way for The Bodyguard soundtrack in 1992.
I’m very opposed to plastic surgery. I think if—God forbid—you’re in an accident, or if you were cursed with a nose like Pinocchio, you’d have to go and get it fixed. But just to get nipped and tucked, I think it’s very painful, very expensive, and having been in hospitals as much as I have, subjecting yourself to surgery when you don’t need it is not a smart thing to do.
Via Fashionista.com, I’d like to share with you an insightful interview with MAC’s latest muse, Iris Apfel. Beauty blog Into The Gloss records some sound advice from the style maven on being timeless and true, including the above quote on the perils of plastic surgery and this:
I’m not good at putting on makeup, but you have to be a moron not to be able to put on lipstick. Now since I’m older, I don’t do my eyes anymore because when you’re older, your eyelids wrinkle. If you use blue or green, and you’re not really expert, you end up looking like a turtle.
Have a peek and let me know what you think!
You’ll be spending lots of energy and enthusiasm to reach your objective, so you’re the only one responsible and you should be sure of what you’re doing. Daily Good: Manual for Climbing Mountains
Confucius did have a lot to say, but if there is one principle that runs through his philosophy, it’s that personal virtue is the way to the good life and the good society. Daily Good: The Enduring Power of Virtue
Former model Katie Halchishick is on a mission to transform how girls think and feel about their bodies. Teen Vogue: Healthy is the New Skinny Campaign Celebrates True Beauty
The entertainment industry only places value on outer beauty, but Weider and her website are seeking to promote a counter-cultural message – that real beauty comes from within. Ruby-eyed Okapi: Project Inspired
Four misconceptions about the simple life are so common they deserve special attention. These are equating simplicity with: poverty, moving back to the land, living without beauty and economic stagnation. Daily Good: 4 Misconceptions About The Simple Life
How many times have you heard the command “Happy Holidays!” over the past month? It’s only today I’m truly feeling warm and fuzzy with Christmas cheer. Your holiday cheer might be of another flavour and I hope you’re feeling it, too, regardless of what or how you celebrate! I’ve noticed this season a trend against over-spending or over-stressing. I’ve heard the word “solitude” tossed around with abandon and encouragement to quit giving gifts out of obligation. Authenticity seems to be the key word this season and I wonder if it has anything to do with the transparency of blogging and social media? We’re kind of over the BS and if it doesn’t feed our souls we don’t really want any part of it. Am I close at all?
What others think of us affects us less and less as we slowly realize that others aren’t thinking much about us at all, more likely they are worrying about what we think of them (and the vicious circle completes itself). As I get older I care less what people think and more that if they don’t have my best interests in mind, what do I want with them anyway? In the words of Alanis Morissette:
“I highly recommend getting older! There’s less tendency to people-please.“
Tara Merino of Elegant Femme has a terrific video series, The 12 Days of Christmas, which tells how to set boundaries and stay true to yourself throughout the holiday season. (Frenchie, New Yorker, and Indie are terms she’s coined to describe the sensual, business, and intuitive personalities she feels live in every woman.) On Day 4 Tara urges us to be discriminating, even ruthless, in paring down our gift list. Take a look and let me know what you think in the comments.
