I interviewed Ben Barry back when I started this blog because I was intrigued by his model agency which represented a truly diverse range of talent. His mission was to change “the face and body of fashion”. Ben recently completed his PhD at Cambridge University and his research is being lauded by outlets from Elle to Jezebel. What he found is that the use of an idealized image of beauty in fashion advertising not only ruins self-esteem… it is also bad for business. Check out the video to hear him speak on the topic.
For fashion eye candy, nothing beats the annual Met Ball. Fashionista: See What Everyone Wore to the 2012 Met Gala
Not everyone is thrilled with Vogue‘s Health Iniative. Shop Talk: So Vogue is Going to Promote “Healthier” Body Image. Hm.
Oprah’s still got it! Oprah.com: 16 Lessons We Learned from Oprah’s Lifeclass
Shameless self-promotion: my post in Yummy Mummy. Yummy Mummy Club: It takes a Village to Raise a Child
Calorie counting starts way too young. In The Powder Room: Skeletons in Our Closets
Age has become a disease, to be cured and eradicated. Stylist.co.uk: Why Are We Scared of Growing Old?
Let go and it will come to you. Daily Good: 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy
Not surprise here: self-esteem comes more easily to those surrounded by supportive loved ones. Daily Mail Online: Women with supportive families are not pressurised by ‘thin and beautiful’ ideal
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Blogger Stylish Thought posted her Thought of the Day on Facebook:
“It’s not your job to like me – it’s mine.” -Byron Katie
Wow.
Did you ever have one of those teaching opportunities with your kids (or students, or someone who looks up to you) where they say something off the cuff and you know you have to jump in there with a life lesson, that rare moment when you realize you really do know more than someone else and have the chance to impart some wisdom?
Like when your kid who is now in Grade 3 tells you about a girl she hates from her Grade 1 class and says the reason she hates her is because this girl accused her of being more than just friends with a boy they both know. The only thing more disturbing than her use of the word ‘hate’ is that she’s been carrying this feeling around for two years!
Your first impulse might be to scold her for using strong language or to say ‘stop being so sensitive’. But the real answer, as the quote above maintains, is promoting self-love. It does hurt when someone doesn’t believe you or lies to you, but you have to know that having the truth inside yourself is enough. That is self-love. Understanding and accepting that life is sometimes unfair but you won’t let how you feel be dictated by external circumstances. That is self-love.
You can’t control what other people say or do. You can control whether or not you let it affect the way you feel about yourself.
And you can forgive them for not being perfect.
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Discovery Girls antidote to harmful magazine images
14-year-old Julia Bluhm has reached 65,000 signatures and counting on her petition to get Seventeen magazine to stop its misleading use of Photoshop. A meeting with the mag’s editor-in-chief resulted in little more than a pat on the head and no change in policy. Many argue that since Seventeen is marketed to a teenage audience it has an added responsibility to provide realistic images, rather than ones that have been proven to drive girls to depression and eating disorders.
Parents must also take responsibility for the kind of media their children consume. I am grateful for a magazine called Discovery Girls which uses cover models that look much like my daughter and her friends, complete with braces, glasses and less than perfect hair. Rather than photoshop images, the magazine is more likely to publish an article revealing the truth about photoshopping, like the one my daughter ate up and talked about endlessly – clearly information she was yearning to receive.
My daughter’s only 12 so it’s easy for me to regulate her reading. And when I first imposed the ban on every magazine except Discovery Girls and American Girl (the messages are universal), I found a stack of Tiger Beat under her bed, hidden the way a teen boy might hide porn. Now she devours the contents of Discovery Girls with its exceptional advice on friends, boys, school, and style. The magazine cares about girls and carries a message beyond celebrity-spotting and unrealistic ideals. I’m not sure what will happen when she’s 17 but I hope she’s beginning to understand the images around her are not real and be armed with the knowledge that digitally altered photos are not an instruction manual on how we’re supposed to look.
I’ve received a couple of misguided emails from PR girls pitching story ideas about eyebrow transplants. The latest email asks Are you aware that, last month, models in Paris strutted Chanel’s Fall/Winter 2012 runway debuting the new bushy eyebrow trend and as a result there has been a ginormous increase in eyebrow transplant requests??? Included was the above image of model Miranda Kerr at Chanel FW12 sporting jewel-encrusted eyebrows.
I confess to having no idea what it’s like to suffer with sparse eyebrows and have always had to pluck/wax/thread mine into submission. However, I do remember when bushy eyebrows were considered unfashionable and before that when they were fashionable again. It’s just kind of shocking that we’ll alter our bodies this way to follow a trend. Changing what we wear is one thing, but undergoing surgery because of a Chanel showcase is quite another! What about an eyebrow pencil?
What do you think?
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Gratitude is the key the happiness. Oprah.com: 11 Reasons to be Grateful Today
Attitudes are contagious. Are yours worth catching? Flickspire: Attitude is Everything
Have you ever lost yourself in your work, so much so that you lost track of time? Daily Good: 9 Steps to Achieving Flow in Your Work
Marc and Angel Hack Life: 12 Universal Skills You Need To Succeed at Anything
This notion of loving one’s enemies. This was my inspiration. Daily Good: Radical Love and Holy Play
World’s leading fashion mag takes a stand, sets a precedent. Fashionista: Vogue will no longer work with unhealthy-looking or under-16 models
Where was this class when we were in school? Help Others.org: 177 Messages of Kindness
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It might be time for another trip to NYC! My last jaunt to New York was to catch the tail end of the McQueen exhibit at the Met Costume Institute. Now The Met has launched a tribute to two of fashion’s enduring female design icons: Miuccia Prada and Elsa Schiaparelli which, according to Fashionista, explores common themes in the designers’ work.
In other fashion news (and this is big!) Vogue has launched a health initiative manifesto which editors hope will benefit the well-being of both its models and readers. I swear to you I saw this in a dream and now it’s come true! Vogue has pledged in writing not to use models under the age of 16 or who appear to have an eating disorder. For models younger than 16, Vogue will “help to structure mentoring programs where more mature models are able to give advice and guidance to younger girls.” Please click through to Fashionista.com to read the manifesto in its entirety. It’s glorious, and as one of my Facebook readers commented: “Let’s hope it sticks!”
The infamous Abercrombie & Fitch push up bra for kids
Many months ago I posted a piece on the push-up bra by Abercrombie & Fitch marketed to girls as young as 7 years old. The post remains one of the my most popular and continues to attract attention from young girls and women both in favour of the body-enhancing garment and opposed to the implications of such a grown-up garment being peddled to children. Today, I’m sharing with you the latest comment on the post which inspired me for many reasons.
As a mother, the author’s words gave me evidence that the values we teach our children do stay with them and shape the decisions they make in the future. The author also speaks about the influence of modes of dress on our relationships with others, especially first impressions, and why waiting to date is wise. I’ve set 16 as the dating age for my daughters because that’s the legal driving age. I reckon if you’re not old enough to drive you’re not old enough to date. The author’s mother sounds a lot like me. Some might see my methods as puritanical, but they are my way of protecting my girls from a culture intent on sexualizing them too young and having them believe what they look like is their most valuable asset.
Here’s the comment: let me know what you think!
I’m a 20 year old from so cal and I definitely find it disturbing that push up bathing suits are being sold to such young children! I have a push up bathing suit… but I’m 20. My mom made me wear tankinis until I was about 13 or 14. I love my mom, but she is very conservative. I didn’t even own a tank top until my freshman year of high school! All crew necks before that. I didn’t start wearing actual decent bras with some push up until high school either.
I can’t imagine the pressure put on young girls to be beautiful. I remember becoming very self conscious of my weight in grade school. It must have started around 3rd or 4th grade. I admit, I had a little bit of a belly, but it wasn’t as bad as I imagined.
I just wanted to tell younger girls that I thinned out in 8th grade. I got up to a B cup in 10th grade. Now I’m 20 years old with a 34C. I didn’t start dating until I was 16. (And for the record, don’t have serious relationships in high school, boys that age are immature and will say dumb things. Wait for serious relationships till after you graduate). I have been dating the love of my life for the past 6 months, a man that I can imagine marrying. I didn’t meet him at the beach in my bikini, or at a club in a tight little dress in high heels. I met him at work, wearing an extremely unflattering uniform.
Anyways, my point is that you will grow up. You will become a beautiful woman inside and out. There is no need to rush the process, it will come.
Also, the guys that you meet when you are half-naked at the beach or in a tiny revealing dress… aren’t the guys that you want to date. Trust me on that! You want a guy that notices you for your personality and your charm. Show him how beautiful you are, and then let him be surprised by how beautiful you are on the outside as well.
A snob is anybody who takes a small part of you and uses that come to a complete vision of who you are. Youtube: Alain de Botton: A kinder, gentler philosophy of success.
What hurts you blesses you. Darkness is your candle. Daily Good: Lessons from those who Lost…And Found
In a disappointing display of irony, organizers of Harvard’s student-run fashion show, have digitally altered models’ bodies. The Harvard Crimson: Don’t Suffer for Fashion
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. Marc and Angel Hack Life: 12 Things You Should Be Able To Say To Yourself
You may have heard how Ashley Madison has offered a bounty of $1 million to anyone who can offer proof of having had sex with Tim Tebow. Washington Post: The Temptation of Tim Tebow
Merchants might want to consider ways to mitigate the stress that their customers experience while trying on clothing in harshly lit, mirrored dressing rooms. ABC News: Why Does Swimsuit Shopping Drive Women Wild?
The group aims to perpetuate positive female body images and attributes. The Flat Hat: LoveYourSelf Encourages Open Dialogue About Body Image and Self-Esteem
It’s so good to see an older woman portrayed in a glamorous way. That’s Not My Age: Older Models: Daphne Selfe (via Already Pretty)
Have you heard? Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are getting married! Fashionista: Our Wedding Dress Suggestions for Angelina Jolie (And Her Right Leg)
CNN: Vulnerability expert Brene Brown confronts shame head on in this TED Talk
Those Graces: How To Style TOM’s Shoes
For six hours each day, Bermuda’s Johnny Barnes stands at a busy traffic intersection telling all who pass that he loves them. KarmaTube: Mr. Happy Man
HelpOthers.org: Kindess Adventures of “Boss Lady”
CurlBOX is a sampling program for women with lovely curly locks. Lipstick and Luxury: Take a peek inside the April Curlbox!
I went searching for a list for moms with sons. This search was mostly fruitless, so I was inspired to write my own. The Good Men Project: 25 Rules for Moms With Sons
