My comment from Ashe’s post featured here! The Good Men Project: Nice Piece on Male Body Image Issues
Are you your own worst critic? Daily Good: The Power of Self-Compassion
Holding on is being brave, but letting go is what makes us stronger and happier. Marc and Angel Hack Life: 10 Signs it’s Time to Let Go
What are you practising? Daily Good: Life as a Conscious Practice
It’s satisfying to see what celebrities and models really look like! Shine from Yahoo: Supermodels without Photoshop
We should also take a second to admire some of our favorite style bloggers who are also parents. Independent Fashion Bloggers: 8 Insights from Chic Bloggers Who Happen To Be Moms
So, how can you tell the difference? Dress With Courage: How to Identify Counterfeit Handbags at the Thrift Store
We tend to think “sexism” is being dismissive toward women, or paying them lower salaries — we don’t think of it as frenzied “burn the witch!” hatred. Cracked: 5 Ways Modern Men Are Trained to Hate Women
Demi Lovato is speaking out against the unrealistic standards of beauty. AOL: Demi Lovato, Body Image
We can blog about girls and women and weight, but we must also be concerned about boys and men. Huffington Post: Girls, Boys, and Body Image
I would look at pictures of me from photo shoots and that was not me and not how I looked. Fox Sports: Amanda Beard’s Struggle Yields Crucial Lessons
“Stop the wardrobe wait”. I read those words in an article about lies women tell ourselves about our looks. The lie in question was “I’ll be beautiful when I’m thinner.” Have you told yourself this lie or something like it? Do you deny yourself a new outfit because you’re waiting until you lose those last few pounds and then your life will be better and you will be more deserving?
Recent research is showing that the best way to lose weight is to love and accept your body as it is NOW. Sounds counter-intuitive but apparently it works. So the best weight loss plan is to feel good about yourself. Hmm. Research also shows that talking negatively about your body lowers your self-esteem and even causes depression. How many of us have a tape running through our heads which constantly criticizes our bodies and tells us we’re not good enough? Yet more evidence reveals that women berate their own bodies an average of 14 times a day. That’s a lot of self-loathing.
The reason diets don’t work is that the whole motivation behind them tends to be based on external validation. The idea that self-esteem can be raised by a smaller dress size is ludicrous. Self-love must come from within. All the energy we put into berating our bodies and counting calories is better channeled into working on self-love. Admittedly, it’s difficult, almost impossible, to love your body because we are inundated with images and cultural messages that tell us we’re not good enough as we are.
And whether we realize it or not, all those glossy Vogues and Glamours are contributing to our poor relationships with our bodies. It works on a subconscious level so you can’t say “those images don’t affect me”. They do without you even realizing it. I’ve been putting aside my Vogue magazines in favour of blogs that promote healthy self-image like By Anika, Already Pretty, Medicinal Marzipan, and Becoming A Better Woman From the Inside Out. These ladies know that we are already beautiful as we are and that we do not need to wait until we’ve lost a few pounds before enjoying a new outfit (or a cookie). The time is now. Changing your body size will not make you happy if you weren’t happy to begin with. Basing our happiness on how others perceive us doesn’t work.
When I get down on myself about my looks (it happens to thin people, too!) I think about the way God loves me, that unconditional love which has nothing to do with the shape of my body or the depth of my smile lines. My friend gave me Karen Moore’s book of daily quotations for women and my favourite (because I love hearing the truth) goes like this:
“The world does not make you feel beautiful. So, as you go about your day today let the world keep its best and worst lists, its beauty standards, and its superficial identities. You have the real thing and it’s part of what makes you a gorgeous woman of worth.”
Do you have a favourite self-worth blog?
Making negative statements about your body may be deleterious to your body image and mental health. Today Health: Calling Yourself Fat Increases Depression Risk
As a little girl, I thought I was gorgeous, because I was me. Huffington Post: What I Know About Beauty Now That I’m in My 20s
It is important to support our own economy and help those in this country struggling to find a job. Style Eyes Ethical Fashion Blog: Made in Britain
As a teen my negative body image was intertwined with my low self-esteem and shaky sense of self. Weightless: What I’d Tell My Younger Self About Body Image & Life
Viewing the body as a sex object has, embarrassingly, appalled countries, cultures, and religions worldwide. The Universe: Letter on Body Image
When I was 13 I was different than I am now. Medicinal Marzipan: Unfortunate, Ugly, and Inspiring Adventures From My Life As a Teenager
The modeling industry is largely unregulated. Fashionista: The Model Alliance’s Industry Survey Finds Nearly 30% of Models Have Been Sexually Harassed and 50% Exposed to Cocaine
This one-woman show about body image would have been worth the drive to Montana. The Missoulian: ‘The Pomegranate Seed’ performed at UM
“The proper function of man is to live not to exist.” Marc and Angel Hack Life: 15 Ways to Live, and Not Merely Exist
Israel’s Knesset approved a bill that would ban the use of underweight models in advertising. JTA: Knesset Law Bans Underweight Models
Fashion is not just about the trends we wear or the clothes we have, but what we believe in and the message we send out. The Ram: Ethically-Conscious Fashion Always in Style
Commenting that you think you are fat may be hazardous to your mental health. Newswise: Negative Talk About Body Weight Predicts Depression, Poor Body Image
When readers talk about their body image struggles, one of the most common themes is that of mothers being overly involved. Psychology Today: Body Image: What Do Girls Need From Their Moms?
Models have no way to recoup lost wages if a client is unwilling or unable to pay. Fashionista: New Bill Aims to Protect Models From Clients Who Won’t Pay Up
Finally, with all the talk (and rightfully so!) about the proliferation of photoshopped images in magazines, here’s a cover with Cate Blanchett in all her un-photoshopped glory.
Why is it important to feature untouched images in magazines? The more realistic images we see of women in media, the less women will feel they don’t measure up. And the less men will think women are supposed to look like that. It’s not a crime to have laugh lines at age 42. It’s life.
What do you think?
The relationship between Harper’s Bazaar and Dior goes back to the designer’s first couture show in Paris on February 12, 1947. Harper’s Bazaar editor-in-chief, Carmel Snow, altered the course of fashion history when she uttered these famous words:
“It’s quite a revelation, dear Christian, your dresses have such a new look.”
The new silhouette moved away from traditional pencil skirts and the sober uniform of wartime to introduce a more sultry, feminine silhouette: smaller waistlines, fuller hips, soft, sloping shoulders, wider skirts, and miles of fabric.
“I wanted my dresses to be constructed, molded upon the curves of the feminine body, whose sweep they would stylize,” Dior exclaimed at the time.
The New Look, which ushered in the signature 1950s style, served as a turning point in post-war fashion, thumbing its nose at previous wartime fabric rationing by using yards and yards of material for one dress. The Dior show is still among the most highly-anticipated at Paris Fashion Week, from the gowns to the hair to the make-up. Indeed, beauty is an integral part of any Dior runway show.
Paris Fashion Week: Dior SS12
Sixty-five years after Carmel Snow’s game-changing quip, Harper’s Bazaar and Dior have joined forces once again for a limited engagement at participating Macy’s. Just in time for Spring, from March 21 to March 31, you are invited to discover your own “new look” by treating yourself to a complimentary beauty consultation with a Dior make-up expert. Click here to book your free appointment and enjoy a taste of the luxury and tradition of Dior.
*Disclosure: I have been compensated for writing this post. As always, the opinions expressed are my own.
Today I took in the VAWK show at Toronto Fashion Week. I was anticipating this show because designer Sunny Fong made a public decision to use “real” women to unveil his sister collection VAWKKIN, a line of more accessible pieces. What a pleasure to see women of different ages, sizes, races, and shapes walking the runway.
I confess I didn’t expect the non-models to be so beautiful; indeed it was their diversity that made them interesting, proof that beauty has more than one narrow definition.
In the spirit of such everyday beauty, Harper’s Bazaar and Estee Lauder have teamed together to bring us the “Fabulous at Every Age” contest. They’re looking for regular women like yourself to post photos along with a testimonial of 50 words or less on your own fabulosity. Whether you are in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s or 60s+, they want to know why you are fabulous for your age, and you might win $10,000 for your trouble! One finalist in each age category will also win $5,000 and the chance to appear in Harper’s Bazaar.
Click here for everything you need to know to enter. Get going, the contest ends March 19!
It’s International Women’s Day, a day to celebrate women. In North America, the day seems focused on celebrating women’s political achievements and reminding us that “we’ve come a long way, baby,” or yet have far to go.
In Europe and other parts of the world women receive bouquets of flowers from male loved ones not because they have done good work, or made more money than last year, or shot through some corporate glass ceiling, but simply because they are women.
I love seeing the gaggle of men at the local florist in my multi-cultural neighbourhood after work on March 8. The mob far outnumbers anything you witness at a flower shop on Valentine’s Day. They are all men and they are all ages – some buying for their wives, some for their mothers, and all for the women they love. They are not buying flowers to celebrate these women’s material achievements, they are saying ‘I Love You’ for who you are.
If given the choice between receiving a bouquet of flowers as an expression of love, and a high five from “society” for my material achievements, I choose the former. I don’t buy into the myth that my value as a woman is dependent on my achievements. I am valuable because I am. And so are you.
I write about body image because I love eating cake, but women around me are always dieting. Huffington Post: Body Image, Why I Write About It
Life is all about taking chances. Marc and Angel Hack Life: 12 Things to Start Caring About Today
Let your better self rest assured: dearly held values truly are sacred. Daily Good: Profit vs. Principle: The Neurobiology of Integrity
Irish Americans aren’t happy. Fashionista: Urban Outfitters Offends Irish Americans With Its New Offerings for St. Patrick’s Day
Happiness is a choice. Marc and Angel Hack Life: 10 Ways Happy People Choose Happiness
Forgiveness is a choice. Becoming a Better Woman: Forgiveness Is…
I am tired of a world in which the only people who are considered beautiful have a specific body type…I find such a world inhumane and cruel, bordering on insane. Weightless: The Danger of a Single Ideal Body
The top two offenders that have the highest amount of lead in their lipsticks are Covergirl and L’oreal. Lipstick and Luxury: Why you SHOULD be concerned about the lead in your lipstick
Dennis O'Connor student, Paul Gomille, source: Toronto Star
I’m not a news follower for reasons I won’t get into here, but the front page of the Toronto Star caught my attention today with its headline “Suspended from school over ode to inner beauty.” The story covered a Catholic high school boy who had distributed a letter on Valentine’s day about the true essence of female beauty. The boy, a student at Archbishop Dennis O’Connor high school in Ajax, served a two-day suspension which resulted from his refusal to remove passages his principal (who had seen the letter ahead of time) deemed ‘judgmental’. The letter followed closely on the heels of controversy over female students hiking up their kilts to reveal more leg.
When issuing the suspension, Principal Donna Modeste cited the 17-year-old’s “opposition to authority” and I must confess I have to agree with her decision. Rather than obey the principal’s order to amend the letter, he ignored her instructions and handed it out to the student body unedited. There has to be a consequence for his rebellious action. He’s a minor under the care and protection of the principal, not to mention scientific evidence that teenagers do not possess fully developed reasoning capacities: it is possible the adult in this situation knew better.
I’m not arguing against rebellion in all cases, but it must carry consequences!
The Toronto Star was fairly clear on its stand in the student’s favour and it’s disdain for punishment based on “opposition to authority”. Me, I think one of the problems in our world today is a lack of respect for authority. I feel the letter would have served its purpose as well or better without the passages the principal asked to be removed. It’s wonderful this young man sets a shining example of what it means to value girls and women for who they are instead of what they look like. He should have done so within the parameters of what his principal allowed and had the humility to accept advice from his authority.
Here’s the letter with the passages the principal asked to be removed in bold:
Could I please have your attention for a few moments? I guarantee you won’t regret listening to what I have to say. You definitely won’t regret hearing this in your life time, especially from a man of dignity. It’s an idea that I have held close to my heart even before the kilt controversy arose in the media. This message is not meant to address the kilt controversy directly by any means, but rather, this message is a general and all-encompassing statement. It is a message about the qualities that really matter in a woman, and what really makes a woman attractive. Although this speech has some relevance to the way women dress and present themselves nowadays, the message in this speech goes far beyond one’s preferences, or feelings of pressure, as it relates to the way they dress, and it goes far beyond any concept of modernity. It strikes at the very core of humanity itself, in an attempt to make a revelation of truth apparent to all of you, with awe inspiring certainty. If you read this, and receive anything less than a feeling of absolution from it, then I have committed a grave sin, a sin against myself and a sin against all of you.
The people this message concerns are the young women of this school, and of the world. In particular, it concerns the silent ones, the intelligent ones, the ones that don’t talk about people behind their backs, the ones that guys don’t flock to in droves, the ones that don’t dress in revealing clothing, the ones who would love to be in love, and the ones that are continually disappointed in their appearance because the only thing they have to compare themselves to are the women that have been put on pedestals by our society. This message also concerns those of you who may consider yourselves the so called “opposite” to the demographic I just described. The ones who do dress in revealing clothing, and the ones who try to fit in with the crowd.
You don’t need to dress or act a certain way to fit in, to feel attractive, or to BE attractive. You’re all far more attractive than you realize. All of you. But that’s not to say that you should all dress in revealing clothing. No, not at all. Sure, a girl who dresses that way might turn a few heads, and get some compliments. But real attractiveness doesn’t come from wearing the latest fashion, and it doesn’t come from being scantily clad in public, or putting on make-up, or having a pretty face, or a nice body. No. Real attractiveness comes from having a certain dignity. It comes from having class. It comes from being true to yourself, being yourself, and being comfortable in your own skin. This message is for all young women within the sound of my voice and beyond. You’re all beautiful. You all have inner beauty AND outer beauty.
What do you think?
