Sometimes I skip on over to Jezebel, the website for women with the tagline “celebrity, sex, fashion…without airbrushing.” Today when I visited I read a report on a padded push-up swimsuit top by Abercrombie and Fitch Kids. The top is intended for children as young as 8-years-old. My daughter is turning eleven and I’ve implemented a new rule that she must wear one-piece swimsuits. When she asked why, I told her simply: “Because your body is not for display.” (It just came out like that).
Speaking about the detrimental impact of the Abercrombie padded push-up bra for children pictured above, child psychologist Michael Bradley was more eloquent, outlining four distinct adverse effects of this type of pre-teen sexualization:
“One, we’re shaping their beliefs. We’re actually teaching them that this is their primary value in this culture, that’s what they’re all about. Second, we’re shaping their behavior. We find that kids that get into this stuff do get into high risk early-onset sexual behavior. Third, we whack their body image. We tell them “You’re not okay as you are. You have to use this kinda stuff”. Finally, we’re taking their childhoods away from them. At age eight we throw them into this pressurized, high anxiety world they’re not ready to handle and we think it’s part of why we see so much depression and anxiety in kids.”
What do you think?
I’ve seen these types of bras before, but never swimwear. I think the bras are more about marketing, but this swimwear is odd. I think the best role model a young child (at least at the age of 8 before adolescence kicks in) can have is her mother so perhaps if we want our daughters to wear conservative and modest one pieces, we should as well! I don’t have kids yet, obviously, but when I do, I think that’d be my philosophy.
Yes, I’ve started doing that although I realize it’s a personal choice and don’t knock anyone adult or otherwise for wearing bikinis! I’ve always had my conservative “mom” bathing suit and then my bikini for Vegas, etc.
While this type of thing disgusts me and the sexualization of children is something we should endeavor to eradicate from society, I still believe that there is a balance to be struck. While I encourage modesty and careful thought about how women and children present themselves, I also believe that going too far in the opposite direction can also create significant body image issues where we must cover up lest we offend or titillate.
I am not a mother, so I have no experience there and perhaps cannot speak with any credibility on this subject, but the balance between being ourselves (flabby bits and all) or moving towards more modesty is a difficult conundrum.
I am not what would be considered a perfectly proportioned women, and I have a real problem with self esteem and body image. I spend a lot of my time traveling to warm climates and wish I could comfortably wear sone of the clothing that women who are larger than i are commonly seen in where i travel. But i can’t, because society has told me throughout my life that i am too large to even consider a bikini or a short skirt (I am a size 16). I wish i had been told as a child that even though my body is not a tool to be used to further myself, it is nothing to be ashamed of.
Back to the point … Push up bikini is not on my list of acceptable items for young girls, but a bikini or two piece suit is not on my list of unacceptable attire for young girls either. I think it entirely depends on the body image the young girl possesses.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment, and you don’t need to be a mom to contribute to the discussion. The modesty issue is definitely a personal one and so is the body image issue in general.
It is very wrong. There was a big debate in the UK recently about this sort of thing and a few companies withdrew products.
Yes, they mentioned that in the Jezebel article. It was Primark, I believe.
Two pieces for kids are supposed to be either tankinis or ones with tops that look like sportsbras (compelte with a belly button reveal), not this. Then again, it’s AF, and they’re known to be controversial. They’ll (once again) just apologize, pull the product and a few months later, come up with another thing that’ll cause a stir. I’m beginning to think that they do these things knowing that they’ll get press. The brand is basically famewhoreish and a complete 180 of what the original AF was meant to be (REAL prep, very Brooks Brothers ish kind of stuff. I’m pretty glad I’m too old to shop there now.
Sadly, that may be the case. No press is bad press some say.
what age are we talking about here?
The Jezebel article said as young as eight-years-old.
In a younger perception of this, (I’m 15) I personally believe that kids in our generation are growing up too fast. I’m one that is strong on my beliefs and I find that more and more girls my age wear things to impress. I would never wear something like this, let alone purchase it. My mother taught me to except myself the way I am, and I shouldn’t let a little thing like smalls boobs bother me because hey, I’m still developing.
Thank you so much for a first-hand perspective on this; I really appreciate the input.
I think this is disgusting!! We all complain about how there are so many pedofiles and molestors out there and then someone goes out and makes a push up bikini?? what the heck is wrong with these people! If I ever seen a child in somethiing like this I would curse the parents. This is wrong and should not be put on sale! If I seen any of these things in a store I would personally take scissors and cut every one up and then walk out of the store.
I love your impassioned response! We need more people to take a stand the way you have on issues that are important to us.
And we wonder why kids/teenagers seem to have more self-esteem issues these days. When they’re told that they need to worry about their bodies at the age 8, that mentality is set for life. Disgusting.
I know it’s truly shocking and especially troubling for me as the mother of a “tween”.
This is awful, but my first reaction was to laugh at this post, because it just seems so ridiculous, I couldn’t quite believe it.
How can this be allowed? I mean I understand parents don’t HAVE to buy it for their children, so your child doesn’t have to be subjected to such a thing. But I know when I was 8 I loved clothes and wanted the newest latest thing. So even if a child isn’t allowed it, it does not mean that they cannot be subjected to it. Imagine having to care about what you body looks at 8? You have the rest of your life to worry about that.
This is truly shocking, great post.
I know and I’m glad that you and others have been rightfully outraged. I saw some 8-year-olds at Fashion Week in Toronto dressed in heels and lace stockings with full make-up and hair. It was so disturbing: they ought to be out running and jumping at that age not dressing up like 30-year-olds!
at first this totally creeped me out (and it still does!) but it’s convenient for me because i’m almost 20 and am not even an A cup, so finding a push-up bra this small is nice. but by no means do i find it acceptable that they are marketing it to young girls. i didn’t even start wearing bras until i was 12, and even then it was just sports bras (i didn’t need any support, just something to wear so changing for gym class wasn’t weird).
It’s absolutely more appropriate for your age, and like you said at 10 or 12 they need not be thinking about pushups!
this is wrong, yes. no need to even bother trying to say push ups for kids isn’t bad. it just is.
but there is nothing wrong with 2 peice swim suits. its a bathing suit! no one even thinks of it in that way unless your 18 and some guys are checking you out or something…but its normal for women of ALL ages to wear 2 peice no matter how revealing it is. u should go to europe. u’d love the body display down there. what you are teaching her is not to be proud of her body. which just goes hand in hand with the whole push up bikini and how that teaches her how not being pround of your body. hypocritical….
I’m of the mind that showing off your body is not the way to be proud of it. I would rather she show pride in her body by the way she uses it, not by displaying it in a bikini.
hi my name is laverne and i am a tweleve year old and i think that it is a very good idea because young girls like me that are small chested have more confodence to be in our bodies. this int being a slut or anything, it is to create the illusion of hvaing bigger breasts. i think that parents should let the child get whatever they want to as long as thay feel better about themselfs.
Hi Laverne. You’re twelve and you needn’t worry about having bigger breasts. You are perfect as you are
Hi my name is Ashley, i’m Laverne’s bestfriend. Thnx Laura for the compliment to her but she’s not saying that her body is not perfect the way it was, so the compliment isn’t really needed. My mom got me the bra for pageantry use only, they are accepted by all contest holders. and my crown and title winning records have been 7/9. So how can you guys say bad things about them when they are accepted in society. I guess it’s just the matter of opinion. and i hate when people diss pagaentry, just cause i model and stuff like that doesn’t mean im not smart or my mom is a bad parent. I get all As in school, I am very intelligent and articulate myself well. Pagents have taught me to be proud of who I am.
Hi Ashley, thank you for visiting and commenting. You’re right, all things are a matter of opinion. Because something is “accepted in society” is no reason to be silent about it. I hope you will defend your right to participate in pageants the same way I speak my opinions on this blog.
Hello there, I’m a 15 year old in todays culture, and I hate it. Even though I have too much on the breast department, I don’t agree in them marketing these things to kids younger then me when I only wear a push up once and a while and only started too this year (to hold up dresses and the like)
Its because of pressure like this I went anorexic and bullemic in grade 5, because of people in my class I had to look like models or else I’d be unsucessful and a fat old cat lady. Personally I think this is such an exploitation of young people and children are getting parents to waste their money on this. Children shouldn’t be wearing revealing bikinis, they can wear ones that don’t try to show off clevage they don’t have at the moment. Just this year I saw a 9 year old at camp and 2 other boys her age were chasing her (she was wearing a revealing bikini) trying to knock her down and get her naked, I was appauled. I think this is the stupidest thing ever. Children are already growing up fast enough.
Oh, that is so upsetting to me. Thank you for writing about this. It is not the culture I grew up in and what you’re referring to with the 9-year-olds is sexual
assault and it’s illegal.
Well i am 15 too and i personaly think little kids will be more focus on there body no matter what we do to try to stop it… They will learn from one way or the other like for me i didnt have to get the “talk ” because at a very very very younge age i knew about sex,masterbation,gentals etc etc i lernt from other kids,media etc etc you cant shield your children from every little thing , but yes i do also have very bad self image of my self and slight emotional/mental problems (whole diffrent story) but yeah little girls most likely already know about push ups even tho you dont think they know , they already look at themselves as” ugly” ” fat” etc etc because of other kids even in elementry and it will only get worse
Also what someone Pointed out earlier about euro and there beaches , girls there usally are more confident with there bodys and know what is “normal” because they bare it all and things like females and body parts arnt sexual its seen as beautiful . But here in american we cover things up make things “taboo” but it is hurtting us more than helping us! But everyone no matter the age should be confertable with there bodies and make them selves look good in there eyes if that means push up bikinies for like 9 yr olds because they might feel less pretty because maybe a girl in class started getting boobs or thats what is so glamorize in the media . I think yeah this product is better for kids then older females … And whole pedo thing is there is more because of the increase hormones in milk and other foods = increase sexual hormones and guys(n girls) dont know what to do with them and anything will become arosal and immedatly cant controlle because of increase hormone levels, then also stick to your own kids dont go yelling at. A parent for there choices for there children , IT THERE CHILDREN , stop worring about other kids and focus on yours! Then futhermore dont worry about what is in stock if parents are aginst it they will not buy it , not buying the product = lose in money for store and will slowly take it off the selves on there own once its not selling , and i think less boobs you have more right to wear bikinies …
This kind of thing absolutely disgusts me. I’m a 16 year old girl, and this just makes me sick to my stomach because these girls are being brainwashed to believe that the best way to get attention is to make themselves look like Victoria Secret models. These poor girls already get enough pressure from the outside world to sexualize themselves, but what shocks me more is the fact that parents ALLOW their children to wear these clothes.
I think that nowadays parents are afraid to parent. Afraid to offend their children. They don’t realize that you are a PARENT not a BEST FRIEND, and this is where the problem lies. A parent is supposed to be that person who tells your sons and daughters to go change if they are scantily clad, weather or not that child gets angry.
If my parents ever saw me in a bikini, mini skirt, low cut shirt, whatever, I would be in serious trouble. And honestly, I am thankful that my parents are so strict. They have given me a respect for my body that a lot of girls around me don’t have.
People wonder why there are so many teenage pregnancies these days. It stems from the lessons they are taught (or not taught) as young girls, to respect their bodies and treat them with reverence. It just disgusts me that these companies are so blatant about their sexualization of girls, and that parents shamelessly buy the products put out by these companies. Our world is so desensitized to this kind of thing, it is truly shocking.
I’m so glad you wrote to express your feelings on this issue. You make me feel better about promoting modesty with my 11-year-old. As I mentioned in the post, bikinis are now off-limits as are short shorts and spaghetti straps. We have to stop telling girls that they are valued mainly for what they look like and that that look ought to be sexual. It is so wrong and I’m not sure how we got so off-kilter in such a short time. Hopefully with more girls like you, the pendulum will begin to swing back to something a little more sane.
I’m from Europe and I’m not native English speaker, so sorry for all mistakes. i agree, that it’s bad to dress up kids sexy. This world is going crasy, as making sexy bikinies and underwear for kids we kind of say, that it’s nothing bad to want sex with a kid.
When I was a kid parents many times let us naked in the beach (maybe untill 3 or 5, when you start feeling uncomfortable about that). My niece, being 2.5 loved runing around naked in the beach. Once she asked me why I’m not taking of my bikini and i got confused what to answer. I said that only kids can do that
As an art student I was drawing naked bodies, so I could say that body not necesserely is sexy. It becomes sexualy attractive depending on how it is presented. The biggest problem, that beuty now is equal with being sexy. Can’t people just look beutefull, not sexy? P.S I love wearing long skirts or sports wear, but it didn’t make me a problem to have a boyfriend. If you want normal, long relationship with a man, only beutefull body will not give you that. You need to be a personality
How nice to hear from a European reader! I think women can look beautiful rather than sexy and it’s the most beautiful look of all because there is mystery there. I agree with you about using looks to attract men; it won’t last because they have to like the person inside, too!
That is crazy. I’m 14 with small boobs that a push up bra wouldn’t even help, and when I will be able to where them, I probably won’t because I am just like that. Even though I don’t see a problem with having girls where bikinis (I did when I was 8 years old) having a PUSH UP BIKINI is the most obnoxious and (I must say it) but slutty thing for a mother to put her daughter in. Imagine what would happen to the daughter when she becomes a teenager and what she will want to have on her body!
Hi,
Look no one understands what its like to get bullied for the fact you have a flat chest
i’m 12 and i’m not even as big as all my friend my bra’s don’t even fit me I have to wear bigger bras to make my boobs look bigger.And I have a pool party next weekend next week and I would love to order this but i’m in thailand so it would probrably be hard any ways for an 8 year old i’m not so sure about that but for 11 up i can understand
I do understand what it’s like to be ridiculed and embarrassed for having a flat chest – I experienced that and did not develop at all until Grade 9. I’d urge you to seek support from people who love you AS YOU ARE. The healthy response to bullying is not to give into it, but to stand tall and embrace your beautiful self and find people who truly support you and love you. We all develop at different rates, there is no right or wrong time to develop breasts and no size is the wrong size! I hope you will see beyond the media influences and realize that who you are is not what you look like: You don’t need to wear bigger bras to look like your breasts are bigger, you need to accept yourself. You are just right as you are.
laura im 9 and im a 38A i get teased for having them soo big. i had to move schools because kids were trying to touch me.i didint like it so if i wore this more guys more drama and i agree this is inapropiate for 8 yr olds so i have it worse but life’s good now cause i moved schools so to all the girls out there dont worry if ur getting bullied cause there to small or BIG they will grow sometime.
I’m 14 i wear a 34a I have a small chest for a freshman in High school… I should understand but people shouldnt bully you for that, your only twelve! Work with what you got. At least that’s what I’m trying to do.:) I’ve talked to some girls who have big chests and they wish they had smaller chests.!! So be happy don’t put yourself down..
I think it’s sad how society thinks it’s okay for young girls to wear stuff like this…. I’m 14 and I see girls wear this kind of stuff they post pictures on Facebook. I know they do it to impress guys… I think it’s sad how they think it’s about how you look instead of personality….. And it’s sad to say that many teens as well as I shop at A&F but my mother would never ever let me wear that and I’m in high school… So why would they let an eight year old.
Thank goodness your moms is looking out for you! Sadly, many young girls will do lots of silly things to attract negative attention from the opposite sex. I’m glad there are girls like you to set a good example and I hope my daughter will be like you, too.
Ok I understand and agree that the YOUNG girls who basically have nothing to push up shouldn’t wear them. However girls who are well into development should be trusted with the type of bra they where, come on!!! Think about it: if there’s something there it’s gonna show regardless. Allowing the child to wear the bra isn’t where parenting goes wrong, no not at all. Parenting goes wrong when they see their child walking out the door and can see down their shirt from sitting down. To me it’s like this: wear what ever kind of bra you please, but as soon as too much is being exposed, I stop that right then and there. Also if your a good parent, you inform your girl that her body isn’t what is most important before allowing her to wear the bra. There’s just little things you want that give you more confidence when you look in the mirror. Its given my 13 year old confidence, and she doesn’t even wear low-rise shirts.
i think this is ok because they problem want tan to get better and i got an abecrombie bikini its the 1 with moose prints and i liked it and i got tan to whiche i loved so much i took pics too and send it to my friends they liked it some even got hollister ones to theres bikinis and takings also cute 1 pieces at this store called justice and if u don’t like your body and ur embarrassed to wear bikini just wear a tankini or 1 pieces like abercrombie is also for a lot of girls and boys who r skinny thin or medium mostly but i think that its ok or not that much but i would love to have a tan when i was like 8 cause i had kinda light skin and their bathing suits have good quality and if u don’t want push up ones get triangles or bandeau 1s because mostly they don’t have bras but try this store justice for girls they have cute bathing suits tankini or bikini but not bra 1s or 1 piece bye
Its pathetic, I think as parents we need more “picky” to buy undies for our kids. friend of mine makes tween bras for this reason. She couldnt find anything good so ended up making them herself, and started a website with them, called http://zinkyzoo.com, I hope this helps.
Hi Dee, thank you so much for sharing! I have an 11-year-old and this is a great resource. I will write something about your friend’s brand, too.
Hai Laura, it’s so nice of you thank you and happy if you like them too.
I’m a 20 year old from so cal and I definitely find it disturbing that push up bathing suits are being sold to such young children! I have a push up bathing suit… but I’m 20. My mom made me wear tankinis until I was about 13 or 14. I love my mom, but she is very conservative. I didn’t even own a tank top until my freshman year of high school! All crew necks before that. I didn’t start wearing actual decent bras with some push up until high school either.
I can’t imagine the pressure put on young girls to be beautiful. I remember becoming very self conscious of my weight in grade school. It must have started around 3rd or 4th grade. I admit, I had a little bit of a belly, but it wasn’t as bad as I imagined.
I just wanted to tell younger girls that I thinned out in 8th grade. I got up to a B cup in 10th grade. Now I’m 20 years old with a 34C. I didn’t start dating until I was 16. (And for the record, don’t have serious relationships in high school, boys that age are immature and will say dumb things. Wait for serious relationships till after you graduate). I have being dating the love of my life for the past 6 months, a man that I can imagine marrying. I didn’t meet him at the beach in my bikini, or at a club in a tight little dress in high heels. I met him at work, wearing an extremely unflattering uniform.
Anyways, my point is that you will grow up. You will become a beautiful woman inside and out. There is no need to rush the process, it will come.
Also, the guys that you meet when you are half-naked at the beach or in a tiny revealing dress… aren’t the guys that you want to date. Trust me on that! You want a guy that notices you for your personality and your charm. Show him how beautiful you are, and then let him be surprised by how beautiful you are on the outside as well.